Hanging On / Letting Go

It’s better to burn out than to fade away. Neil Young

The end of an era is a bitter pill. I have a particularly hard time letting go of people, places, and things (so really, nouns in general) that I love. I cling to that which moves me, inspires me, and loves me in return. It’s not that I keep hanging on, I’m never letting go.

When my favourite band, Anberlin, made the announcement that they were breaking up in early January, I gasped in disbelief. It couldn’t possibly be true. But there it was – heartbreaking evidence in the form of a nostalgic video – the band’s farewell. They presented their news to the world with the following promises:

  1. They weren’t breaking up out of ill will towards each other.
  2. They were recording one last album.
  3. They wanted to say goodbye, properly, with a final tour.

Immediately after their video hit the internet, fans worldwide took to Facebook, Twitter, and various other social media outlets to express their lament. I was not alone in my mourning. It took the band several months to release an entire list of dates and locations which ranged from Australia to South America to Europe and, finally, back to the United States. We purchased our tickets for Spokane, Washington and, on October 15th, crossed two state lines to see them one last time.

We were not disappointed.

As the dust settled after the encore, I turned to Forrest with sadness in my eyes. The end of an era had come. After 12 years, Anberlin was now just a bittersweet memory.

We remained in the theatre as the crowd dispersed – unwilling to walk away from our last moments with the greatest band we have ever known.

You make breaking up look so easy.

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Flying United: An Airport Survival Story / Part 1

PA announcer: United Airlines announcing the arrival of Flight 9435 from Beijing. Customer service representative, please report to gate C42. The Terminal

If I could recommend one airline to my family and friends, it would be Qantas. I have yet to meet its equal in the travel world – its exceptional customer service and friendly staff has ruined my satisfaction with its competitors. Unfortunately, living in Montana usually prevents me from flying with the Australian airline, so I am often required to resort to other options.

For our most recent trip to Ecuador, I pushed aside my colleagues’ gasps of horror and booked with United.  The night before we left, bags packed and with high excitement, I logged on to my email to verify the time of our departure one last time. Cancelled.

Following the first email, United ambushed my inbox several times to inform us that we had been re-routed through Chicago, where we would spend 22 hours, missing our entire first night and day in Ecuador. Upon arrival at O’Hare, we were informed that we needed to reclaim our checked bag before regaining entry through security. Exiting the secure area of the airport, we approached the ticket counter and were refused access to the terminals. United wont hold a checked bag in the airport for more than 8 hours.

We asked for food vouchers. We asked for a hotel room. We got nowhere. As our cancelled flights were due to weather, United was under no obligation to help us out – and they made it perfectly clear.

Tears flowing, I sat on the ground with our bag while Forrest set out hoping to find a sympathetic supervisor. Somehow successful, we gratefully passed through security and settled down for a less-than-ideal night in the airport.

When morning came, we boarded a plane to Houston and waited another 5 hours before boarding our flight to Quito. With an sigh of relief, we settled into our seats and finally left the United States, arriving in Quito almost a full 24 hours after we were scheduled to.

Previous research promised Hotel Quito to be exceptional, but we hardly noticed a thing as, exhausted, we collapsed into bed and fell into a dreamless stupor.

Killing time in Chicago O’Hare

Next Up: Ecuador!

If adventures will not befall a young lady in her own village, she must seek them abroad. Jane Austen

Prior to my employment at Adventure Life, South America was not on my must-visit list. I had always envisioned myself returning to Europe or moving back to New Zealand, but the world’s 4th largest continent had escaped my detection completely.

Adventure Life opened my eyes to the thirteen countries of South America, and I have fallen in love. I am often nostalgic for the peaks of Torres del Paine, the thundering rush of Iguassu Falls, the scattered ruins of Peru, and the stretching dunes of Lencois Maranhenses. These are places I have never seen,  but could rave about for hours upon end.

Forrest’s and my next adventure comes in the form of Ecuador and the Galapagos Islands, and it is difficult to find the words which contain my excitement. Glacier-capped volcanoes, colorful markets, giant tortoises, an abundance of curious sea lions, and the opportunity to finally meet an office-full of people whom I email almost daily await us.

A new continent, a new country, a new adventure. Prepare yourselves for a photographic feast upon our return: this one is going to be amazing.

Ecuador-Flag

Lost

House keys, wedding rings, and cell phones top the list of the world’s most commonly misplaced items. My experience shows that the knowledge of having lost something creates a feeling of uneasiness in some people, and panic in others. I know several individuals who have lost their cell phones over small amounts of time and have literally slipped into helplessness in their absence.

Personally, losing something tends to push me towards the panic end of the spectrum. I have spent days agonizing over a lost tube of chapstick, only to find it again moments after I have purchased and opened a new one. Occasionally, I find objects which I have been searching for in plain sight, making me wonder if it amuses my husband to play tricks on me. I find this scenario preferable to the probable truth that I’m just losing my mind.

The day we got back from New York, my doctor presented me with a harsh reality: my blood-sugar level was lingering just a few points under the ‘pre-diabetic’ range. Distraught, I asked her what I could do to prevent succumbing to diabetes. I had previously known that I needed to lose some weight – the wives-tale that a happily married woman gains 25 pounds in her first year of marriage had proved all too true in my own. I had gained 30.

Her suggestion was simple to make: eat less sugar, cut back on carbohydrates, and lose 25 pounds. Impossible though it sounded and skeptical of the outcome, as I had been actively trying to lose weight for several months, I began to change my lifestyle. I carefully monitored my calorie intake and increased my daily workout sessions. I gave up pasta and inhaled fruits and vegetables. At one point, I lowered myself to eating a stalk of celery – a mistake I only made the one time.

As the pounds began to drop off, I was amazed to experience several other benefits of my loss. I slept better. I had more energy. My mood improved. I took up running and ran my first mile since high school. I ran two. I was ecstatic the morning I stepped on the scale and realized that I had not only achieved my goal – I had surpassed it.

Though it has taken me six months, I am 32 pounds healthier than I was in October.

(Re-discovering) History

History isn’t about dates and places and wars. It’s about the people who fill the spaces between them. Jodi Picoult

As a little girl and throughout my 25 years, I have always been intrigued by history. I have frequently poured over biographies, obsessed over Time Magazine special editions, (such as “Disasters That Shook the World”), and rattled off otherwise useless facts about the world and the people who have lived in it to anyone who will listen.

History captivates mankind, as mankind weaves its blended stories into triumphs and failures for future generations to look back upon. It is not often that time stands still long enough for us to truly grasp its monumental scale, but occasionally, one realizes how fleeting their lifetime is in the grand scheme of things.

I occasionally find myself wishing to speak to elderly individuals who sit alone in restaurants. I always find an excuse not to, but the curiosity is there. My eyes are new compared to their weathered ones; they have lived through all of my life’s historical events while I have only read about theirs.

History is lost each time I walk out the door, my curiosity left unsatisfied – their stories left untold.

It has only rarely happened that I have been able to physically hold pieces of world history in my hands. The museum artefacts and historical discoveries which make this world so interesting are often unavailable to anything but my prying eyes. Occasionally, however, the opportunity to carefully brush my fingers across an object of true significance arises.

As a junior in college, I was fortunate enough to be able to turn the pages of a very rare book with careful, gloved hands. Only three copies of this particular book were ever printed, and the copy in hands belonged to Adolf Hitler. Taken from the Eagle’s Nest by a young raiding soldier after the Führer’s suicide, the book was donated to the University of Montana and safely kept with other rare books in the library. Hitler’s signature was inscribed on one of the front pages and, breathless, I traced my fingers over the shallow indents it left on the pages behind.

This week, I was granted another rare opportunity to hold a piece of history involving the same man. One of my colleagues, while going through some of her uncle’s estate a few months ago, ran across a simple, yellowed envelope. Reaching inside, she pulled out two original photographs of Hitler and several of his right-hand man: Hermann Göring – one of which was autographed. She brought these priceless photographs into the office, and I spent several speechless minutes hovering mere inches away from their black and white surfaces.

The fact that history lingers in forgotten places and stretches into our everyday lives is truly fascinating.

In 2013, the remains of King Richard III were found under a parking lot in Leicester, England. A month later, fascist leader Benito Mussolini’s most secret bunker was discovered underneath Rome’s Palazzo Venezia. Later that year, scientists uncovered the remains and cannons of the Queen Anne’s Revenge – the flagship of the notorious pirate Blackbeard, and  just a few weeks ago, a man and his wife discovered millions of dollars worth of civil war era coins in a tin can, which they had previously walked by hundreds of times before.

History belongs to those who remember. It belongs to those who seek it. It belongs to those who stumble across it unexpectedly in their backyard, or in a faded manila envelope.

In a day and age where historians and treasure-hunters have so long scoured the Earth in search of artefacts, the discovery of truly significant items comes with an awed gasp and a common question: how has it taken us so long to find it?

History is out there – waiting to be discovered, and one day, I hope to find a piece of my own.

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Drifting

Missoula’s blizzard as set my mind adrift.

As a child and throughout high school, blizzards that were bad enough to close the schools of the Flathead Valley were a welcomed gift. Rare though they were, the term ‘Snow-Day’ was cause for celebration. I have maintained a romantic notion of blizzards into adulthood – the idea of curling up beside a fireplace with a good book and steaming mug of hot chocolate has always sounded like a perfectly good use of a whiteout Friday.

As I stepped out into a drift which came up to my knees and raced across the snow towards the shelter of my car at 6:45 yesterday morning, however, I decided that blizzards aren’t nearly as much fun you don’t get a snow-day. I turned on the ignition, backed out, and promptly got stuck. After ten minutes of trying to fix the problem myself, I trekked back inside to pry Forrest off the couch, where he had been snuggled into a blanket.

Multiple revvings, several shovelfuls, four additional ‘stuck’ spots and almost an hour later, we succeeded in tucking my car back under the carport. Deciding what to do next, Forrest donned my gaiters and walked the mile-and-a-half to work, and I made my way out into the streets to catch a bus. Settled on the bus, I pulled out my book (Under the Tuscan Sun, to which another rider commended “Well, THAT’S ironic”) and journeyed to the downtown bus depot. Upon arrival, I kept my head down and ran the 5 blocks to Adventure Life, occasionally stumbling into drifts which came up to my waist. By the time I got to work, my pant legs were completely frozen in the shape of my legs.

My mind drifted for the rest of the day as I watched the swirls of snow somersault in the air and tightly hug the vehicles in the parking lot.

I caught a ride home and began the walk to Alphagraphics, intending to meet Forrest halfway, but we ended up missing each other somewhere along the way and I arrived back home to the news that Missoula’s Mt. Jumbo had suffered an avalanche. An 8-year-old boy had just been pulled out of the rubble which used to be a two-story house. Two others were eventually found alive, but the search has continued into this morning for the last missing woman.

The entire day felt like it belonged in The Day After Tomorrow.

For now, Missoula is listed as emergency travel only and described as having deathly cold temperatures (with wind-chill, we’re looking at -30 Fahrenheit). Forrest and I want to go out and take pictures. Optimistically, he proclaimed “it’s not THAT cold, we have long underwear!”

Thank God we don’t live in North Dakota.

Two Thousand, Fourteen

Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be. Shel Silverstein

As a I general rule, I do not make New Year resolutions. Call me pessimistic, but I think that allowing your hopes, ambitions, and dreams to ride on the dropping of a ball is frivolous. We make resolutions. We break them. We feel bad about ourselves because we didn’t live up to our potential. We promise ourselves that the next year will be better. It will be different. Will it? Probably not.

Maintaining the mindset that the coming of a new year is necessary to make a significant change in our lives is counterproductive. What about right now?

The year is new and holds the promise of potential. Don’t waste it. Make it count.

Walking Circles Around Central Park

All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost. J. R. R. Tolkien

Our last day in New York was reserved for the leftovers: everything we wanted to see which hadn’t already been crammed into a daily itinerary. We began by seeking out the New York Public Library, which I wanted to see for its use in The Day After Tomorrow (in case you haven’t noticed yet, I’m a bit of a movie nerd). We arrived on the library’s marble steps before it was scheduled to open, so we entertained ourselves by watching a hot-air balloon attempt to take off from the middle of a park. While we were there, I encountered an old couple from Florida who used to live in the city. They were in New York to celebrate their 60th anniversary. As I stared at them in awe and stammered my congratulations, the man brushed off my words and replied “Think nothing of it.” I took their picture.

We hung around the library for 45 minutes before realizing it wasn’t open on Sundays (it would have been nice if its hours had been posted anywhere) and promptly dashed off to B&H Photo: Forrest’s only ‘must see’ destination in New York. Arriving at the store, we pushed open the doors and found ourselves thrown into three stories of chaos. Required to check our bags at the door, Forrest and I spun off into North America’s largest camera store. We admired lenses, lighting equipment, and just about everything else you could ever need for your camera before I got claustrophobic and had to leave. We followed a slow-moving queue around the checkout stands and were finally reunited with our backpacks, where I stepped outside, gasping at the fresh air.

Our next and last planned stop was to Central Park. Forrest and I had seen the wall of green from a distance as we dashed about the streets, but we had never ventured into its depths. We boarded the subway and rode to the top of the park, having decided to walk its entire length on our way back to the hotel.

One can get very lost in Central Park.

Being in the park was surreal. Surrounded by trees, grass, and duck ponds, one almost forgets that they are in the middle of America’s largest city. We aimlessly took one of the hundreds of paths which spread out in every direction, and began our afternoon of meandering through the park. We passed the Harlem Meer, The Reservoir, The Great Lawn, and explored the Belvedere Castle before exiting the park to enter the Museum of Natural History (which we most wanted to see for its use in Friends) and the Rose Center for Earth and Space. Regrettably, the Rose Center was closed to the public, but we spent a few hours wandering the numerous levels of the museum before deciding to return to Central Park.

We crossed by The Lake, The Turtle Pond, and walked the stretch of The Mall before finding what I had spent the entire day searching for: Balto. Satisfied with Central Park, we began our exit and stalled to watch the sun set over the skyscrapers. Outside the park, we found ourselves in front of the Apple Store and FAO Schwartz, the oldest toy store in the United States. As we entered through its revolving glass doors, an employee dressed as a toy soldier nodded at Forrest and whispered to me “Let him play.”

I did, of course.

The Reservoir

The Reservoir

An Island of Skyscrapers

Forrest and I bolted out of bed Saturday morning, armed ourselves with our touristy belongings, and set off for a day in mid-town. Our first stop was Rockefeller Center, which I really wanted to see, but Forrest had never heard of. Typical.

We entered the main square to see the Parade of Flags and sunken gardens, which are flooded and turned into an ice-skating rink in the winter. I pulled Forrest into the Lego Store which overlooks the square and tried, with no luck, to convince him that I couldn’t leave New York without a Lego hobbit key-chain or The Battle of Helms Deep. I left the store empty-handed and very sad.

We entered Rockefeller Center and awkwardly stood around for a while… attempting to decide if the guards would stop us from entering the escalators to the lower levels. We decided to take a chance and slipped away while the guard was distracted. It didn’t matter. I hadn’t realized, in all my pre-trip planning, that there are several floors underneath the building which are devoted to shopping. We pressed our noses up to several shop windows before spotting a woman with an intriguing bag: M&M World. Determined to find it, we re-surfaced from the underground mall and entered the NBC store to ask for directions, then set off for our second trip to Times Square.

We crammed ourselves into the revolving doors of M&M World and were ambushed by the most heavenly smell in the world. You really can’t go wrong with three floors of chocolate. We dashed about, admiring the floor-to-ceiling M&M displays, which feature just about every type and color of M&M’s ever made.

Our next stop was the U.S.S. Intrepid, an aircraft carrier which was launched in 1943 and decommissioned in 1974. As with Trinity Church, I knew about this aircraft carrier due to National Treasure. Unfortunately, it was not in my guidebook and I had neglected to map its location prior to leaving Missoula. We walked in the general direction of New York’s piers and eventually found ourselves in front of three very large cruise ships. Confused, we walked a length of sidewalk before settling down to eat some M&M’s and discuss our game plan. Forrest noticed several kayakers on the Hudson River and decided to ask the owners of the kayaking depot for directions. He came running back and informed me that, while the Intrepid was located on the other side of the cruise ships, we could kayak the Hudson for free.

We donned life-jackets and slid our kayaks into the water, overjoyed to be out of our tennis-shoes and gliding across the river. From my perch on the Hudson, I remembered, for the first time since arriving in Manhattan, that the city is an island… an island of skyscrapers. We played around in the kayaks for an hour before returning to shore. where we thanked the kayak volunteers profusely, and took off in the opposite direction.

Forrest bought our tickets to the Intrepid Sea, Air, and Space Museum and we boarded the Growler, the only American strategic missile submarine open to the public. I got very claustrophobic. We then walked around to the front of the Intrepid, where two of the steel tritons from the World Trade Center serve a small memorial. Boarding the Intrepid, we were greeted with a large display of military aircraft and Forrest impressed me with his knowledge of high-speed airplanes. He was excited to see a Blackbird, which he correctly categorized as a mach 3 (3 times the speed of sound) before looking at the captions. I was excited when he looked over the edge of the Intrepid and commented on the clarity of the river, to which I responded, quoting National Treasure: “Sir, it’s the Hudson. Nothing is visible.”

After searching the area for a stairway up to High Line Park, Forrest and I found ourselves two stories above the streets of New York on a wooden pathway surrounded by grass and spotted with trees. We walked the extent of High Line, which was built in the tracks of an abandoned railroad, and watched as the sun set over the river. As the lonely tones of a saxophone started playing below us, I rested my head on Forrest’s shoulder and willed the city to wake from its daily slumber.

“New York is like a permanent short circuit, sputtering and sparking up into the night sky all night long.” Cornell Woolrich.

Graffiti from High Line Park

Graffiti from High Line Park